Anapolis Training- Feeling my Limit

After a long silence, it can be hard to know what to say. Where do I start? What will people want to read? What is important? I don’t know if what I’m about to say falls under either of those categories, but it's where I am going to start. It is just a start, though. I have plenty more to say in future blogs. I came to Brazil to train teams of missionaries; teams that include ten young adults, a support family, and a pastoral family. We recently hired the pastoral family and still do not have a support family. While the pastors are preparing to leave their current church and home, I am living with and training the team of nine (currently) young adults. I am their trainer and, for the foreseeable future, their support family. I often feel like a single mom of nine who works from home. It's not boring. 

Back: Pr Lincoln, Yussef (a disciple, not part of the team), TJ, Dave, Bernard, Alexsandra, Lucas
Front: Aline, me, Hannah, Alyssa, Olivia, Sarah, Pra Fabiana, João
Lucas and João are Pr Lincoln and Fabiana's two sons, aged 17 and 10

Trainer: This is my official job. I train the missionaries to go to the mission field. I coordinate their Portuguese and seminary classes and teach two classes a week. One is a book study on Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline about spiritual disciplines. We all love it, but are very, very challenged by it. The other class is a hodgepodge of cultural orientation, Extreme policies, and team building.

Disciple Maker: This is my forever job. In addition to discipling the nine missionaries, I also meet with two Brazilian women in our neighborhood every week; Nataly and Zefinha. They are precious women who have agreed to receive us into their homes and workplaces to share a devotional message and pray together. I go to Nataly’s store with Aline on Tuesdays and to Zefinha’s home with Hannah on Thursdays. This started as just a practice for the missionaries to meet and start discipling people who live near us. God, of course, has far grander goals and it is life-giving to see the changes He is making in these two families. As a team, we are discipling thirteen people in their homes and workplaces every week.

Aline and Olivia with their disciple, Teresinha

Mobilizer: Mobilizer is Extreme’s fancy word for recruiter and human resources. This job kind of happened on accident because we had people leave our team at the same time our official Brazilian mobilizer went on vacation. I talk to a lot of pastors around the country and have spoken at a couple different churches in the district to find potential pastoral and missionary candidates. I then process their applications and paperwork and prepare them for interviews. We finally found and confirmed our pastors (Pr Lincoln and Fabiana) in January. We have long passed our deadline for a tenth missionary, but God is crazy and my bosses are patient so we are preparing to interview yet another candidate (the sixth) in the next couple of weeks.

House Hunter: This was my first job back when I arrived in August. I’m now in my second wave of it as we prepare to move to Anapolis. We had our first scouting trip a couple weeks ago and are preparing to go again soon in search of a church building a missionary house. This includes budgetary meetings, real estate agency visits, and conversations with Extreme and the district as we clarify our vision, priorities, and expectations for the Anapolis church. We found some excellent options last time and are praying for the final confirmations and donations to be able to truly commit.

One of twenty properties we looked at on our first scouting trip to Anapolis.
We are headed back April 12th.

Accountant: Every purchase, every receipt, photographed and cataloged and accounted for. The worst part is the monthly trip to the bank to receive our team money. Two hours in line inevitably ends with a strange conversation about why I’m doing what I’m doing. Most times I end up receiving the money, sometimes it requires some repeat visits, but it has never been the same experience twice. 

Seminary student: For my visa, I have to study at the Brazilian seminary. Since my arrival, I've taken ten courses, three of which I also translated for the American missionaries. 

Trying to keep everything organized. 

Translator: Every contract, every job description, every policy, every powerpoint presentation, every piece of training material brought over to Portuguese from Spanish. 

Mom: My “work” is frequently interrupted by the more important work of helping with homework, checking bug bites, managing social schedules, going on random errands, fixing toilets, and just being available to listen. I have developed new habits of making sure I have plenty of gum in my purse, checking to make sure the last person to use the microwave unplugged it and plugged the fridge back in, counting to nine over and over and over. This role has already changed quite a bit as homesickness and the initial culture shock of why are the sidewalks so broken and how can this country not have ranch dressing have given way to spiritual crises and the more profound culture shock of daily life with ten people who range the entire span of extrovert/introvert, clean/messy, planned/improvised, serious/silly, sensitive/stoic, creative/practical, etc.

Aline helps Sarah and Alyssa with their homework
while Olivia practices Portuguese by telling Alexsandra about her family. 

So, how am I doing, you ask? I have never in my life been so far out of my league. I have also never in my life been so completely surrendered and at peace. After a time of begging God to send help, I have started to feel the beautifully merciful thing He is doing in me. I am feeling my limit. I am tasked with responsibilities bigger and more important than I can fathom with only the very precious online support of my pastors, bosses, coworkers, family, and friends who live in Argentina, Ecuador, and the United States. I can’t make this work. I can’t keep track of everything and anticipate every mishap and meet every deadline and raise nine happy and healthy missionaries. No amount of coffee and all-nighters and checklists could make it work. I have to do the one thing that my common sense says I shouldn’t do: I have to rest. I have to dedicate more time to prayer and Bible study than I ever have in my life. My ministry depends on my working less and praying more. God has given me the great honor of being in a place where every time I struggle to my feet to go fix something, it instantly falls apart and I fall back on my knees. I don’t deserve this kindness.

Back: TJ, Bernard, Dave
Middle: Alyssa, Aline, Hannah, Alexsandra
Front: me, Sarah Olivia
They're just the best.